It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
