Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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