why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
