like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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