a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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