Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
