I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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