I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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