you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
