he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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