no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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