I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
