I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
