This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
