we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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