Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize