It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize