im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
