shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
