I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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