"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what day is it and did you see me today?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
