Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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