No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize