Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
