some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
