But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize