I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
