nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize