SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
