Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think my moral compass just broke
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