he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize