I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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