An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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