my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
