she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
