Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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