She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize