Don't make out with my wife yet
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize