watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
