Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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