6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
