thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
