I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
