Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
