I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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