i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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