I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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