I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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