By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize