I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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