I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
