Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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