She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
