OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize